Telling partner to stop smoking cannabis
My partner of some years started smoking cannabis years ago. we both did it and ended up using it every day. this wasnt a problem then but now we have 2 beautiful children and i stopped before the first was concieved. he didnt.
now he gets through £20-£30 a weeks worth when we dont have enough money as it is. he never smokes in front of the kids but often goes off for a smoke during the day and comes back in to us afterwards. Its becoming more and more of a problem. We rarely go anywhere because he'd rather sit home and smoke and if we do go out he will sneak out for a crafty joint as soon as he can. We were at a family do at the weekend and he dissapeared for 1/2 an hour to a friends house for a smoke. His family were looking everywhere for him and i finally confessed to his brother who he sometimes smokes with that iknew where he was. the brother has told everyone else now and they are understandably annoyed.
when he has no stuff he gets in terrible moods and this has been noticed by the family too although they thought it was relationship trouble. So today his mum comes here and asks all about it. We have agreed that its time he grew up and packed it in. When the kids are in bed tonight im going to ask him to stop. I have had enough and i need him to be there for his children.
What i need to know is, what can i expect from him? i dont think he will be angry but i know the next few weeks will probably be quite tough on him and i want to support him through it.
Does anyone have any experience of this? how can i tell him to give up without preaching or lecturing?
I know im being too soft on him and im the world worst mother for letting him anywhere near the children but the fact is, he is a nicer person after a smoke and a not so nice one without.
Other Question:
Help/advice please for fear of flying?
Response:
You can't tell him to stop. You can bring up your concerns and have a healthy discussion about it but the decision to stop has to be his and you can support and encourage him but that is it. Ultimatums are not good unless you are prepared to stick by them. IMO trying to force the issue just makes the other party dig their heels in.
